No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
