Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he thought i was a dude.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize