508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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