All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
