OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
