i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
