If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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