If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm passing your future prison.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
