So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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