I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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