Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
