hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's like iHOP with fire
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
