you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
