mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
