I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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