i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
