He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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