So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
