her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
