Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
