i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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