I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
