i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
