So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize