i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
