I hope mine doesn't look like that
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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