Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
