I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
