You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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