I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
