you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
