Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize