God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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