Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Semen is not good for contacts.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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