It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
