I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
