So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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