Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
