were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
