I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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