nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize