Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
