I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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