Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
