There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
