I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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