That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need a beard to bite.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
