just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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