honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize