That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
