its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
