whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
