to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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