I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
