I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So many bounce houses so little time
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
