Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
tell me about the eggs
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
