it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
