I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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