Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
