My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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