know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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