We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
