Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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