Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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